Bullying help - what are you teaching your child?

Recently my daughter spoke to me about a boy she knows who has been hitting and punching other children. My initial advice to her was 'stay away from him' (followed by a lengthy conversation about why it is not ok to do that to friends).
That got me thinking ... would my advice have been the same if she was 13 or 16 years old? Basically what I am training her to do is walk away if she sees someone being bullied. That advice might protect my daughter, but if every parent did the same, who would help my daughter if she was the one needing bullying help?
I'm not suggesting that a child rush in to protect someone they see being physically bullied, but certainly they can 'get bullying help' or 'tell an adult'. If the bullying is verbal, better advice might include something like 'stick up for your friends' or 'tell the bully that what they are doing is mean/not ok'.
What are you training your child to do when they are confronted with a bullying situation?
....and don't think it won't happen to your child.
1 in every 5 children experiences some form of bullying at school.
Make sure you prepare them now for what they are likely to encounter in the future.
Not sure how - check out www.kidslessons4life.com/demo for more bullying help.

Bullying help - Bystander training

What would your child do if they saw someone being bullied?

What would they do if they knew someone was making up nasty lies or rumours about another child?

What would they do if they saw a child threaten another class mate with physical violence?

Would they run and hide?

Would they stand by and do nothing?

Tell a teacher?

Get involved?

The fact that so many parents can't answer these questions, is reason to believe that we don't do enough at home to educate our children on how to deal with bullying situations. You can help prepare your child by talking to them about what to do if they are confronted with a bullying situation. I'm not talking about what to do if they are bullied, but rather what they should do if they see someone else in need of bullying help.

Help them identify the people they can talk to and trust.

Teach them how to be assertive and defend a victim of bullying.

Try a few role-plays in your own home to see how your child might respond in different situations and provide bullying help.

Show them picture or read them stories about bullying situations and help them identify the feelings of different characters in the pictures/stories and the action that they could take.

You'll find some great picture activity cards on our website www.kidslessons4life.com that you can access and download for free.

Bullying schools - Target the bystander

Did you know that bystanders are present in approximately 85% of bullying cases - whereas adults are rarely present?

When people think of bullying they usually think of two parties - the bully and the person being bullied. It's the third party - the bystanders - that need our attention most. If bystanders are present in 85% of bullying cases, we need to educate them on how to respond when they are confronted with a bullying situation.

It is not enough to stand by and ignore it or use the defence 'I didnt say anything; I didnt get involved'. Bullying behaviour is reinforced when bystanders do not get involved.

Over the coming weeks I will share with you some tips and advice on how to educate young children on what to do when they witness a bullying situation.

If you have any questions, concerns or stories you would like to share about bullying schools, please post them here or get connected through our website forum. We'd love to hear from you.

Six-year-old bullying case

There is some hot press about at the moment on the case of six-year old Taner.
Yesterday the Herald Sun reported 'Parents of a six-year-old boy may take legal action to remove an alleged bully who has been tormenting their son in class.'

The replies posted to this article have been passionate, direct and somewhat blunt (to put it nicely!)

Taner has "allegedly been kicked, punched, ridiculed and verbally abused...so distressed by the bullying that he was admitted to hospital after vomiting and complaining of stomach cramps."

How would you feel if Taner was your child?

It is alleged that the 'bully' has autism.

Does this change your feelings or opinion about the situation?

Would you go to the press or threaten legal action as is the case with Taner's parents?

The school and department "confirmed it was investigating the matter..'working with both families to resolve the issue' "

Of course we cant believe everything we read. The article published is full of allegations. It does however raise some interesting questions and I would love to hear your thoughts about it.

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/victoria/six-year-old-taner-home-sick-of-being-bullied/story-e6frf7kx-1225907054734

Bullying posts on YouTube

I have recently viewed many YouTube videos that address the issue of bullying. There are a few things I noticed that were consistent regardless of which country they were produced in.

1 - People are aware of the harmful affects of bullying.
2 - People of all ages are suffering from the harmful affects of bullying.
3 - The most frightening of all - people continue to post comments about bullying being 'just a part of life'.

Bullying may be a part of our current life, but it is not an acceptable part of life. If we continue to tolerate bullying behaviour in schools, playgrounds and workplaces around the world, we will never see a difference.

Bullying schools is a global issue. We can make a difference, but only if we say 'no' to bullying. Don't accept it as 'just a part of life'!

Bullying schools - the statistics are frightening!

Recently I came across some excellent information on the UK childline website www.childline.org.uk

Their statistics on the number of children who contact their helpline as a result of bullying problems is frightening. I thought I would share them with you, together with the list of different ways children describe bullying behaviour.

'Bullying is when people are mean to someone or hurt them on purpose. In 2003/2004 more than 31,000 children called ChildLine about bullying, making it the most common problem children phone us about.

These are some of the ways children describe bullying:

- being teased or called names
- being hit, kicked or pushed
- having money or other things taken from them
- being ignored or left out
- being picked on because of their religion or colour or where they are from'

[Source: Bullying - Information for primary school pupils, www.childline.org.uk]

Bullying is not ok. Parents and teachers need to work together and say no to bullying schools.

For more information, tips and advice on bullying check out our online interactive resource for children at www.kidslessons4life.com

Bullying Schools - Bystander Training

Without questions bullying is a real issue faced by children and parents today. Often we talk to children about the importance of being nice to each other and accepting people for their differences, with the aim to create an inclusive culture in preschools and schools.

We also talk to our children about how to respond to bullies, what to do if they experience bullying, who to talk to and/or where to get help.

But how often do you stop and talk to your child about what to do if they witness someone else being bullied? Bullying schools is a frightening issue for the victim, but can also be a frightening and confusing experience for the bystander.

Young children are caught in the dilemma of not knowing whether they should:

• try to stop the bullying behavior themselves


• call for help


• run


• join in to avoid being a victim of bullying.

Parents and teachers need to educate children how to respond if they witness bullying by providing them with 'Bullying Bystander Training'. Bystander training should help children choose a safe and supportive means of assisting victims of bullying. It is based on the notion that bad things will continue to happen if good people do nothing to stop them.

Role-playing is a great way to teach a child how to respond with confidence and certainty to bullying situations.

Bullying schools needs to stop today!

Share your ideas on how to create an inclusive classroom and any bystander training you have conducted with your child/children.

Bullying schools - when is enough enough?

A girlfriend of mine has a four year old daughter who has attended childcare since she was 12 months old. Her child is quiet, often anxious and has always suffered from separation anxiety.

Over the past 12 months her daughter regressed. She was having nightmares and displaying fear of having to go to childcare. It turned out that she had a genuine fear of two other children in the centre who were 'mean' to her. There did not appear to be any physical bullying taking place, just some four-year-old domination in different activites and a lot of nasty remarks such as 'your freckles are ugly' 'your not our friend' 'you cant draw' and so on. Bullying schools is a great concern - even at such a young age.

Although this type of bullying behaviour might be brushed off by a more confident child, my friend's child was seriously affected by the bullying incidents. Despite her attempts to work with the childcare centre staff on rectifying the bullying behaviour, there was minimal concern or action taken. The bullying behaviour was seen as typical 3-4year old behaviour and her child simply labelled 'over sensitive'.

Not being prepared to wait for futher improvement, my friend removed her child from the centre and enrolled her in a different preschool where she is slowly settling in and adjusting to the change. She has not yet made any close friends, but she no longer has nightmares and no longer cries when she is dropped off at preschool for the day. She is on her way to becomming school ready and my friend is certainly pleased with her decision. Saying no to bullying schools has worked for her child.

I wonder, however, what would have happened if her poor child was the victim of bullying at the new preschool, and what would happen if the same thing occurs when she goes to primaryschool. How many times should a child be moved around to avoid bullying behaviour and when should a parent force a teacher to take action?

Did my friend make the right choice for her child? Or should she have persisted in trying to get action from the childcare workers? What would you do if you were in her situation?

Say no to bullying schools!

Help! I think my child is being bullied

Every parent wants what is best for their child. We want them to feel loved, nurtured and safe. We want them to be happy, laugh often, be self-confident, self-assured and enjoy every moment of their precious life.

So what do you do when your child displays the complete opposite behavior? How do you cope when your child is bullied, in tears and tells you that they don’t want to go to preschool because:

They ‘don’t have any friends’(as a result of being bullied)

‘The other children are mean’(bullies)

‘They feel sick in the tummy’ (with fear and nerves of being bullied, facing bullies, bullying schools)

‘The other kids bully them by saying they are ugly/dumb/weird’

‘The other kids hurt them’(physical bullying)

‘No one likes them’(as a result of bullying)

‘Preschool makes them cry’? (bullying schools)

Sometimes the responsibility of being a parent can be overwhelming. Knowing what to say and making the right decisions all of the time is a challenge that all parents face.

Fortunately there are many great bullying schools resources available to help when things dont go to plan. Here are a couple of our tips to help you reassure your child if you suspect that they are being bullied, have been bullied in the past or have issues with bullying schools.

• Reassure your bullied child that you are there for them, that you are their support and will help them deal with the bullying problem so they can feel safe and happy again.


• Reassure your child that the bullying is not their fault and that the bullying behavior is not ok.


• Reassure your child that you are committed to helping them deal with the bullying behaviour and that it is important to you.


• Reassure your child that they are not alone and that their feelings of pain/sadness/ sickness/fear as a result of being bullied are normal.

For more great tips on bullying schools and how to help a child who is being bullied, refer to our website www.kidslessons4life.com

Help! I think my child is a bully

From the moment your child was born, you could not imagine anyone more precious. Your little one filled your heart with joy and continuously gave you reason to smile. But today you received confirmation that your child has been bullying other children….

‘What? Not my child? Where did I go wrong?’ you might ask.

No parent wants to hear that their child is being bullied, and for some parents, it can be even worse to find out that their child is the bully.

The good news is, you have not failed as a parent, and you are certainly not alone. Any one of our children can exhibit bullying behaviour – yours and mine. Bullying schools is a real issue for every parent.
Help is readily available and now is the best time to take action.

For some useful tips on how to combat bullying behaviour and bullying schools, check out the free bullying articles available at kidslessons4life.com

Remember that each child and situation is unique. Apply the steps that you think will work best for your child.

Most importantly, smother your child with love, support and empathy. A child with a strong self-esteem, who feels loved and nurtured is less likely to continue the bullying behaviour.